It's that time... no, not PCS season, not TDY... you all know what I'm talking about. The countdown to deployment has begun. In the next year, DH will pack his bags, leave for training for 6-8 weeks, and a few months later leave for a year and half. This will be our first. I honestly have no idea how I'll handle it.
One issue that has come up is my getting pregnant. I went off hormonal birth control because it was making me very depressed and I was having trouble losing any weight. Since going off my mood has turned 180* and I've lost another 20lbs roughly. I have about 60lbs left to go. Now that the dates are becoming more set, DH is concerned about me becoming pregnant before he deploys. LB's pregnancy was not an easy one. I was still 60lbs over weight, in the obese category for my height, and I developed pre-eclampsia in the last trimester. The birth was even worse but I'd prefer not to think about it. I had terrible PPD for nearly 8 months after LB was born. We are pretty sure it won't be as bad with the next baby since I'll know to expect it and I won't beat myself up over an unfavorable birth and breastfeeding like I did last time. It is still a valid concern though. I just don't know which is worse, possibly getting pregnant (it's been nearly 6 months and I haven't yet) or going back on BC knowing I'll gain weight and become more depressed. What would you choose?
In one week DH has to have all his personal gear packed and ready to go. We still have at least half a year before he leaves, but packing up his deodorant, soap, razors, and pillows is still a giant sword through my heart. Because this is our first, I don't even know the protocol of talking about it to other wives. Is it unspoken? Do we talk about it and plan for it? How much can you say about how you feel without feeling like you are being insensitive to the other wives' feelings? Who do I talk to about all this? Will my counselor being deploying? I guess I'd better ask him. It'd be nice to have him to talk to when DH is gone. It'll be hard because right now DH and I see him together, but I think it will be healing to have someone listen who knows our background and isn't as affected by the deployment as the other spouses.
Any suggestions on gearing up for this thing? My main priority right now is to spend as much time together as we can without getting sick of each other, video tape him with LB as much as possible, and not pick any fights. We're guilty of that one really bad. The week before he left for BCT and AIT we fought everyday.